The Lonely
by SarahBelikova99
Summary: Rose finds herself hurting after those four words whispered by the only man she's ever loved. She tries to get away from it but soon realizes she can't because those four words have racked her soul and buried themselves deep within. Rose is a shell of what she used to be and is she can't regain herself soon, she may never. ONESHOT. R&R will continue if enough ask me too.


_**So this is my new story. It's based off Christina Perri's song, The Lonely. It takes place right after Dimitri tells Rose**_**_love fades. Mine has. _**

**I hope you enjoy!**

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_2am where do I begin  
Crying off my face again  
The silent sound of loneliness, wants to follow me to bed_

She fell, stumbling over her own feet. She couldn't see because her eyes had started blurring from the dam of tears flowing. It was early morning and this had been going on since…she can't remember when.

She was on her knees, her hands wrapped around herself, rocking back and forth, trying to numb the pain. Her hair was all around her, in her face, obscuring her vision even further.

The loneliness. A gaping hole in her chest letting the lonely seep in slowly, dragging out the agony. Little wisps would further turn into big branches wrapping around her heart, and squeezing it until the point of no turning back into a sense of normality.

She was tired. Crying can make you fall asleep and that's exactly what she wanted to do, but she couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks. She couldn't stop the big fat salty drops from landing on her tongue from having her mouth open to let loose the sobs wracking through her body and the depths of her soul.

The loneliness moved with her. In her every step, her every sob, her every breath. It threatened to follow her. Follow her and surround her like a blanket as she crawls into bed. Wrapped around her like a lover's embrace.

_I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most  
I'm a shell of a girl that I used to know well_

The girl that I she wants to be. The girl that she's built her whole life up for. The girl that gave herself over to the most powerful weapon. The girl, who loved.

That girl is gone. She lives on in a different life. A spirit, coming back to haunt me, to show me what could have been. To hurt me. That girl got what she wanted most.

This girl, broken. Used. Lied to. This girl who was huddled in a ball, trying to escape to pain of loneliness. This girl didn't know who she was anymore. This girl is a shell of what she used to be.

_Dancing slowly in an empty room  
Can the lonely take the place of you?  
I sing myself a quiet lullaby  
Let you go and let the lonely in  
To take my heart again_

I guess what you could call what she was doing a dance. Dancing is a way of expressing your innermost emotions, innermost feelings through movement. She was moving.

Rocking back and forth. Sobbing, chest heaving. Fingers trying to grasp thin air. Something she could grab onto and it could hopefully keep her sane.

Her hair billowing in the wind, whipping all around. Her body trembling from the rain now falling mixed in with the slight nighttime chill.

Her body and soul was composed of him. His place belonged beside her. But he's not there. Only the lonely. _Can the lonely take the place of you? _She wondered.

Her sobs and quiet tears. Is this a lullaby? A lullaby will lull you to sleep. To numbness. Sometimes even to the point where nothing can be felt anymore. Is this her lullaby?

By saying those four words, did he give her permission for someone else to take her heart? It sounded as if he no longer wanted it. The lonely does though. The lonely wants to take her heart again. Just like the time earlier when she found out he had been taken by soulless monsters. That he had become a soulless monster. The lonely sure did take her heart then.

_Too afraid to go inside  
For the pain of one more loveless night_

She didn't dare move, no matter how cold she was. No matter how much grief she was suffering through. She didn't go inside; she knew she would spend it alone. And it would be one more loveless night, just like all those others when she had been searching. Searching for him.

_But the loneliness will stay with me  
And hold me til I fall asleep_

She was so tired. Her eyes were closing, tired from the use. They were red and puffy. She had no one to turn too. Abandoned. That's what she felt. Unloved. That's what he said right?

She turned inwards to the solitude, wrapping herself in it, because that where she could find the only way to feel. The only thing she could feel. And she grabbed onto it because feeling something, even if its pain, is better than feeling nothing at all.

_I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most  
I'm the shell of a girl I used to know well_

Everything she was. It's no longer there. Or maybe it is. But it's just too far out of reach. She would grasp it, if she could.

_Dancing slowly in an empty room  
Can the lonely take the place of you?  
I sing myself a quiet lullaby  
Let you go and let the lonely in  
To take my heart again_

Her new dance; slow and un-moving. She was frozen in place. Empty. Like a water bottle. But there was that last drop. Unable to be drunk though. A drop that could hopefully save her. Could the drop take the place of longing? She would swallow it in a heartbeat. But she can't reach it. Can the lonely take the place of it?

There's no hope of her getting the drop so she lets it go. And lets the lonely in. Let the lonely take the place of her heart that the drop would've. The drop that would've allowed her to regain herself.

Her lullaby has quieted. To hiccups and broken breaths. The sorrow was too great, too much for her to hold by herself. She turned over to the lonely, her only companion, and leant for strength and by default letting the lonely in.

The lonely found its way to the source of the pain, and took her heart. Again.

_Broken pieces  
Of a barely breathing story_

That's what it was right? Their story, pieces that couldn't quite fit together no matter how hard they tried. No matter how long they spent. It couldn't work; it was broken. And broken things do not work no matter how hard you wish for it too.

Their story. Breathing with passion and fight. With rebellion and danger. But what had it come too now?

This story is now faded, lost all of its earlier fervor. Barely alive. Barely there. Barely breathing.

_Where there once was love  
Now there's only me and the lonely _

There had to be love once. He told her. He wouldn't have said that if he hadn't meant it. All that time ago when she gave herself fully to him. She allowed him to see her most vulnerable side. Literally and figuratively. He said it. Did he mean it? Did he ever mean it? She wondered.

He must have because in order for him to have said what he said, he had to loved her before. To let his love go.

It used to be him and her. _Where is he now? Is he like me?_ She wondered. _Is he happy? Has he moved on? _

She looked over on both her sides. Did her eyes miss something? Maybe a silky lock of that smooth hair her fingers used to run through. Or maybe those chocolate mildly brown eyes that haunted her when he was away. Just like they were doing now.

Maybe she missed his rare upturned lips. Or the deep belly, throaty laughs that she lived for. Or his affectionate nickname for her? How about the sweet yet deep alluring voice that called her like a moth to a fire?

But she can't find him anywhere. He's gone and he won't be hers again. There's no one here, except the lonely. _It's just me and the lonely. _She thought. The only thought pounding in her head. In the jumbled mess it was, with everything whirring around, _me and the lonely _is the one that was most prominent.

_Dancing slowly in an empty room  
Can the lonely take the place of you?_

Dancing, moving, breathing. This is her dance now. Slowly picking herself up, but eyes still leaking.

She's empty. Nothing to fill the void. He's gone. She's gone; she thought the other girl was her best friend, Lissa was her name. This girl, Rose is her name, thought her best friend would always be there for her. But Lissa pushed Rose away when she fought, fought to see him, fought to make him see.

Has everyone pushed her away? And just because she loves him? And he _loved_ her? The heart doesn't get to choose who it falls for.

_I sing myself a quiet lullaby  
Let you go and let the lonely in  
To take my heart again_

Her new lullaby, she's quiet but still powerful. Still broken but not unfixable. She's just bent. And she can bend back into place.

This is her mantra. She repeats this to herself as she walks in the sunrise breaking through the stormy gray clouds. She smiles sadly, eyes still glasses over. _This will be me someday. Hopefully. _She says, hoping it might quiet her mind.

For now she'll let him go. For now she'll let the lonely come and claim her. For now she'll let the lonely come and take her heart, again.

He said love fades. Mine has. She said love doesn't fade. Her's won't. But just her loving him won't fix the broken pieces. So while the part of him loving her is gone, the lonely will claim it.

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**So how did I do? Tell me in a review. Remember this is a one shot but if enough people ask me, I will continue it! **

**Did it make you emotional? It sure made me while I was writing it!**

**Thanks for reading!**


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